Do you ever feel out of control? Out of sorts? Off your game? Far away from your own best self? If so, you are not alone. It’s common for all of us to be off center sometimes. What if you made it your goal to be your own life coach, by learning to live in your wise, centered self instead? We have lots of words for this positive state of being: to be in charge of ourselves; be the best we can be; be on our game; be in our groove…or maybe even be the adult in the room. To Manage Yourself First, you need to know how to stay in a wise, centered state of mind.

Consider these tips for learning to live as your own life coach:

• Think of times in your life (current or past) when you have felt fully alive, in charge, confident, at ease and fully present in the moment. This could be the memory of a big past achievement or a very special occasion that has remained in your mind as a peak moment in your life. Most often this feeling is one that is associated with doing ordinary things and feeling a quiet sense of confidence, peace, enjoyment and effectiveness. Examples could be hiking in nature, playing a sport, cooking a great meal, creating something, building something, teaching others, being with your family, meditating, writing a presentation for work or just doing the right thing. We’re focused on the feeling of well being inside of you.
• Capture that feeling and stay in it. Experience it fully. Notice your body. Do you feel strong? Relaxed? Are you breathing more slowly and deeply? Notice your thoughts. Are you optimistic? Do you know just what to do? If so, you’re there.
• Name that state. Here are some examples: living in my wise, centered self; being on the high road; being my own best self; living in my loving, compassionate self; feeling cool, calm and collected; being a statesman or stateswoman; or being in my wise, powerful self. Find a name that inspires you.
• Make it your goal to live from that place of strength and well being from now on. Make it your new set-point. Write down words that can bring you back to this feeling inside when you slip away into old patterns such as worry, stress, anger, frustration, or discouragement. Name that state, too, just so you can recognize the difference between positive and negative states of being.
• Recognize when you have slipped into a negative, self-defeating inner place. The crucial skill in this process is the recognition of the shift from a positive state of well being to a negative state of weakness and fear.  If you’re raging with anger or locked up in stress, you’re off center. What are your personal cues to help you recognize your off-center slippage?
• Remember that this is a process. We all slip off center. It’s how we grow. Forgive yourself and get back on track.
•  Affirm your new way of being. Use the words you wrote about your state of inner strength. Do an activity that brings you back. Some people meditate. Some people go running. Choose anything that works for you.
• Once you’re back on center, notice what happened to knock you out of your confidence. If you need to take action, decide how to proceed from that strong inner place and do it.
• Reward yourself for taking charge of your own inner space.  Congratulations! You are learning to Manage Yourself First.

To learn more about becoming your own life coach, contact Ruth Tallakson to schedule a session at 651.647.1001.